“There’s a morning ritual that comes with opening a store. I lift the metal grates, and then tug down the white plastic blinds that block out all light until they spring back up. I turn on the lights and wait for their mechanical hum to fill the room. I make a general assessment. Shelves, windows, cash register are all in place. The ceiling remains, the tiles on the floor have held. Everything is precisely as it should be. Even now, after all these years, this continues to amaze me. It seems as if time stands completely still at the close of each day, and is resumed only by my return. Sometimes I like to think that if I waited ten or twenty years before opening my store, I could return to find it completely unchanged.”—Dinaw Mengestu, The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears
“It’s funny, thinking back. It’s only a couple of years but, you’re right, it seems ages away. Some things were easier, then. There was a way of doing things, wasn’t there? Someone else had decided it for you, said that was the best way to do it; and that’s what you did. It got me down, at the time. I used to look forward to peace, to all the things I’d be able to do then. I don’t know what I thought those things would be. I don’t know what I thought would be different. You expect things to change, or people to change; but it’s silly, isn’t it? Because people and things don’t change. Not really. You just have to get used to them…”—Sarah Waters, The Night Watch
“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”—Daniell Koepke
“If I loved you, I would invite you in, sit you down in our kitchen, and I would say to you: You just never know. You, the yeti. You don’t know why this matters so much to us, why we care. You don’t know what secret pains we have that we haven’t shared with you. You don’t know us.
But then I would have to admit that I don’t know everything either, wouldn’t I? Like I don’t know why it matters so much to you to build that fence exactly there.
What happened in your life that makes a property line mean so much?
Why do you think you should get what is your right?
You’re so uncaring, so unreasonable. It must be a defense mechanism of some kind. I’m sure that it is.
But Sam says that’s ridiculous of me. Even to think about you that way.”—Robin Black, If I Loved You, I Would Tell You This
1. DENIAL. They did not just follow me and my trash blog. NOPE. I guess their finger slipped on my plus button and they haven’t noticed yet.
2. ANGER. Why aren’t I a better blogger? Why aren’t I a better person? Why can’t I be worthy of this person following me? Why does tumblr create these awkward situations? I hate: me, fandom, tumblr, One Direction.
3. BARGAINING. If they last the week, I promise to raise my game. Sophistication blogging 2k14. Avant-garde film stills. Art history jokes. Probably still some butts though. Tag them with quotations from Heraclitus, split the difference.
4. DEPRESSION. Why bother? Why tag? Why post at all? I don’t even like this fandom. Maybe I’ll try something classy, like Teen Wolf.
5. ACCEPTANCE. This person is following me. It doesn’t matter if it’s because that one clever post gave them the wrong idea. It doesn’t even matter how long it lasts. What matters is that for one brief shining moment they chose to visit me in my trash can. Welcome. If you download xkit there are muting options.
“Online activism changed me from a woman who actively put down other women to one who actively uplifts them. Online activism changed me from a white woman with unchecked privilege who actively oppressed people of color to a woman who has lost friends because she tells them to shut their racist mouths. Online activism has changed me from a woman who hated her body, to a woman who realizes just how beautiful she is. No one EVER tell me online activism isn’t good for anything.”—
The above is so me. My gut reaction is to cringe at the phrase “online activism” but when you really think about it everything these online communities provide — free information/literature sharing, community building, consciousness raising, and the free exchange of ideas and critiques are all (more within the self, more passive) forms of activism.
One of my favorite rebuttals of some asshat saying the usual “SJ blogs don’t even do anything because it’s not in real life” was when someone said "If it wasn’t for online activism, I’d still be calling women sluts and whores."
Same for me. And now I’m a sociology major and I go to a women’s college and constantly read/think/write about intersectional feminism. So fuck anyone who thinks online social justice conversations and blogs don’t “do anything.”
Through this little blogging website, I learned a fuckton about homophobia, sexism, racism, and took all of it to heart. I know some people scoff at “social justice”, but without it, I would still be homophobic, I’d still be a little sexist, and I’d probably still be saying unintentionally racist bullshit.